** the Start**

Think of your favorite movie star. Have them in your mind? Good. Now think of your favorite photo of them-- remember what they were wearing, how their hair was styled, how they were posed, the lighting, the setting. Can you see it? Excellent. There's a good chance that the picture in your head was completely masterminded by my uncle, Marten Benner. There's also a good chance that I was there when it was taken.

My name is Hali Freyla Katrin Kent. I've lived with my Uncle Marten since I was about seven years old. Three years before, my intelligent parents had managed to get themselves killed speeding home in a drunken, drugged haze after a rave... but I don't think they called them raves back then. As a direct result of that accident, my substantial new fortune and I spent the next few years in one of those state houses, until they could track down Uncle Marten to come and get me. I don't remember much about that time, so I'm pretty sure nothing horrendously bad happened. Anyway, when Uncle Marten came to get me, he promised me he'd never leave me alone again. And dear Uncle Marten always keeps his promises.

So here I am, sitting on an airplane, flying over the Atlantic. Judging by the cramps in my legs, I've been flying for an eternity and a half-- from LA to Chicago to NYC-- and now I'm on a flight to Munich, Germany. Honestly, I think the first thing I'm going to do when I get there is run in circles around the airport. Well, maybe the second thing. The first thing I'm going to do is call Petie.

No one remembers anymore why we call her Petie, her real name is Anna Renee Schuster. We've known each other for a very long time, ever since her parents and my uncle enrolled us in the same expensive, prissy elementary school. You'd be amazed at the sheer number of such establishments in LA. So, Petie went on to some expensive, prissy all-girls academy, while Uncle Marten had me tutored so that I could travel with him. Some time during the year-and-a-half I was living in Hong Kong, Petie had managed to do something "horrendous" and get expelled from her posh academy and after somehow getting kicked out of three more schools, including one in New Hampshire (figure that one out). In desperation, her intelligent parents shipped her off to a boarding school in some little town 'round about Ingolstadt.

Great idea, Petie's Folks! Send your daughter off to a foreign country with no limit on the drinking age,

unlimited cash flow, and no parental supervision. That's the Schusters, for you. They have another kid, Petie's older brother Mikey. They sent him to military school a while back. During his sophomore year there he dissapeared, and no one's heard from him since. He was last seen roaming Papua New Guinea. No one's quite sure why, but there you have it. I think the Schusters rival even my own parents in intelligence.

Well, my plane landed and I wandered out into the airport, and had a regular hassle in getting my luggage and finding the chauffer Unlce Marten had sent out. When I was finally settled i nthe back of the limo and speeding towards wherever we were staying, I whipped out my phone and called Petie.

"Hallo?"

"Petie!"

"Hali! Do you have any idea what time it is?! THREE A.M.!" She bellowed. I wondered where she was to be able to yell like that.

"Have you been drinking, Petie?" I asked, laughing. "Where are you?"

She ignored the first question. "Umm... somewhere in Deggendorf... I think. I'm not sure. It's kinda dark. And I think it's raining."

"Don't you have class in the morning?"

"I'll get there," she told me off-handedly, and I laughed, because I knew she would. "So, what has you calling at this ungodly hour of the night? Seduce another twenty-one-year-old?"

"Sadly, no," I lamented sarcastically, smiling. "I just got off a plane."

"Oh? And where is the illustrious Marten Benner working his magic this month?"

"Is there a speed limit on the autobahn?" I asked, as if the thought had just occured to me. Actually, it had. Some moron had just passed us at an obscene speed.

"Uhh... not that I know of. Why?"

"Because some creep in a sports car just almost got himself and us killed trying to pass us!"

"Yeah, you'll have that. So, where are you?" I sighed and shook my head, trying not to laugh at her again. "OHMIGOD!" Petie finally screeched, and I could well imagine some poor Germans burying their heads in their pillows and trying to block out her noise. "HALI! YOU'RE HERE!? OH, HOW KICK-ASS IS THAT!"

My resolve fell and I burst into hysterical laughter, both from lack of sleep and amusement.

Petie and I continued happily chatting until we arrived at Uncle Marten's new place in Regensburg.

We had made plans for Petie to rouse me at around four so we could go raise hell together.

I was awoken promptly at four p.m. German time by Petie busting into my bedroom and throwing the balcony doors open. She jumped up onto the bed and knelt beside me.

"Did you know there's a half-naked movie star in your living room?" She asked matter-of-factly.

"Only half naked?" Was my sleepy reply.

"Yup, only half. Get up! We have things to meet and people to do!"

I tried to bury my head back in the pillow, but Petie grabbed the blankets and whipped them off me in one swift motion.

"You are so lucky I don't sleep in the buff," I grumbled at her, but I did get up. Then, I stumbled into the bathroom to take a shower while Petie raided my luggage.

By the selection of clothing spread out over my destroyed bed, I figured we were either clubbing or crashing a party. Either was fine by me.

"So, what we doing?" I asked, pulling on a pair of black leather hip huggers.

Petie adjusted her black tank top and tied a black lace shawl around her hips, over her funky big jeans.

"To a party down in Deggendorf. It's a bunch of Comenius-Gym kids, so it should be a blast. Oh, here, wear this, too!" She commanded, tossing me a fishnet shirt to put on over my tube top. I did so, and we each laced up our standard party combat bo ots.

Then Petie put some gel into her short, flippy dark brown hair and fluffed it out, and I tried to tame my mop into a pony tail before giving up and deciding to Heath Ledger it.

Mmm.... Heath Ledger. And he was such a nice guy, on top of all those good looks! A little shy, though... blushes very easily.

I grabbed my passport and stuffed it right into my pants, feeling relatively certain no one would be doing an exploring down there, so it would be safe. I'd never want to be one of the people who checks passports and id at the airport. You never know where people have hidden those things on their person... ick!

After a crash-course in scary make-up, we thundered down stairs to steal some food from the kitchen and so I could see Uncle Marten and get money, as I hadn't even gotten to see the guy yet.

Petie saw to the food while I wandered into the maze of lighting and photo equipment that had been a parlor the night before.

"Mornin', Uncle Marten," I called, spying a white dress shirt crouched behind a camera.

"Oh, Hello, Peanut," he said, grinning up at me. Uncle Marten has blue eyes and blonde hair, and he'd be hott if he wasn't my mom's big brother. Petie has had a closet-crush on him for as long as I've known her, though she'd never admit it. He's also a really sweet guy. He'd be a great dad if he wasn't always so off and around with work, but we suit each other just fine. Sometimes I almost feel sorry for him, stuck with raising a hellion like me.

Almost.

I sat on a crate and loaded film into the next camera for him.

"Oh my god! Is that little Hali Kent?" I looked up and flashed a grin as I recognized the voice of Brad Pitt, the half-naked actor draped over our new chaise-lounge. "When the hell did you turn into a teenager?" He teased me.

"Ya look cold, Mr. Pitt. What did you do to deserve being photoed by this butcher?" I teased right back.

He laughed. "Well, you know, those National Enquirer freaks..."

He gave me a brotherly hug. "I take it you're going to be staying in Germany?"

"Damn straight! How's Jenn?"

"She's doing well, filming in New York. She'll be jealous when I tell her I saw you."

"Good! Maybe she'll come visit!"

All three of us laughed.

"So, how was your flight, Peanut?" Uncle Marten chuckled.

"Ugh. Flightish. And long. Petie's here. We're gonna go out. I have no idea where or when we'll be back."

"At least she's honest," Brad chimed in optomistically. Uncle Marten nodded his agreement.

"I might have known. Well, I can't stop you, so I won't try. Do you need money?"

"How'd you know?" I asked brightly, and Brad dissolved into laughter again.

"You laugh now, but wait 'til you have kids," Uncle Marten warned him darkly, pulling out his wallet.

"He lies! We're wonderful!"

Brad kept laughing. Uncle Marten gave me a whole lotta money and kissed my forehead.

"Have fun. For the love of God, don't get into too much trouble, okay?"

"Okay. I might be back tomorrow. Hey, Mr. Pitt! Can I get a photo update?"

"Sure thing, kid."

Brad threw his arm around my shoulder, and I threw mine around his waist, and we beamed while Uncle Marten snapped a few shots. Petie careened in from the kitchen, bag of food in hand, and tackled me, so Uncle Marten took a few pictures of that, too. Brad signed an autograph for both of us (again. I already have six from him, with the corresponding pictures, starting at about age nine) and teased us some more, until Uncle Marten finally shooed us out so that he could finish the shoot.

Petie's movie star photo/autograph collection is about half the size of mine, but I have a decided advantage.

*****

"--and so then he was like, 'But the bats! The goddamn bats!' and I was all like, 'Dude, you seriously need to get over your bat hang up, especially while I'm trying to fucking drive!' and then he was like, 'Peeeeeeeetie! BATS!' so I finally gave up and was like, 'Shut the hell up and drink this, bitch!'"

I realized that we were moving, and Petie was talking-- a lot. I blearily opened my eyes and tried to focus on the two Peties opposite me, sitting cross-legged on the bench and yapping at me louder than any human being should ever be able to speak at such an early hour. Although, looking at my watch I realized it was 3:30 in the afternoon.

"Petie, hold that thought for oooooone second..." I vigrously rubbed my eyes until the two Peties converged into one single Petie looking at me like I had two heads. Maybe she was seeing double as well, I wondered.

"So anyway as I was saying this guy and his bat problems, whilst I was driving! I was like JEEZ!"

"PETIE, SHUT UP!" I yelled and cringed at the volume of my own voice. This was going to take a while to get over. "What happened last night, and why are we moving?"

"Mmm all I remember was walking into this party and some girl named Hannah handing me a mug saying 'Drink this,' and I think I did. things are a little blurred after that. And right now we are, hmm...um... so yeah."

"Marienplatz, Marienplatz...Next stop Sendlinger."

"Well there you go darling, that's where we are! Munich!" Petie said WAY to cheerfully for my liking.

"MUNICH!? What's a Munich!?" I cried in a panicked frenzy. I grabbed Petie's arm and pulled her in for a conspiritorial whisper. "Isn't that a guy without a--"

"Hali!" Petie cut in sharply. "Just... shut up! Sit there, and try not to do anything... stupid."

I sat back, crossed my arms, and tried to pout at her, key word being "tried." Truthfully, I think I passed out again.

I woke up, yet again, to Petie talking, except now her rapid torrent of speech was not directed at me.

"Hey, do you know where this train is going? And is there anything fun to do at the end? Fussen? Great... any good biergartens there? Clubs, perhaps? A state store? Well, you know, I went to this really bitchin' club in Passau, and..."

I tried to stop listening after that part. I well knew most of Petie's club escapades in Passau, and most of them ended with her waking up in someone's spare guest room next to some guy with his chewing gum on her jeans and no bra. Suddenly a piece of their conversation sparked my interest.

"Actually Fussen has two castles right outside the town along with a really good Chinese restaraunt, but other than that theres nothing there," a man told Petie in broken English.

"Hey Hali, what do you think about castles???" She inquired, staring at me with pleading eyes.

"Meh... mm... yeah, yeah, okay..." I muttered, weakly waving my consent at her.